Performance Enhancing Drugs for the Lazy?
“You know like when the Olympics on TV everybody always talking about doping and steroids they be taking to make theyselves faster?” “Yeah. I don’t get it. Lance Armstrong be skin and bone. I can tell...
View ArticleTired of Being Crazy
“I am so sick and tired of crazy people just standing there and saying crazy things on the subway. Why can’t they go someplace else? Why do they all pick the subway? “I don’t know, probably because it...
View ArticleNo Mo’ Stilettos
“… And they doing it cuz they want you to suffer. Why else would they do it like that? Shoe makers gotta all be men cause they make us wear those kinda shoes that make us suffer. It ain’t no accident...
View ArticleChevy Chase vs Harry Potter
“Have you seen European vacation, you know the movie, with Chevy Chase?” “No.” “Well, anyway, there’s a scene in it when they’re in England going round and round on a roundabout and it’s hilarious....
View ArticleMagazines, Schmagazines…
“Why all these women’s magazines be about pleasing your man with the sex he craves? Everybody knows he just want you to be a slut and then cook his dinner.” - woman on the C train
View ArticleWith Fans Like This, Who Needs Enemies?
“Yo, Michael Vick is one pussy ass n—a!” “Why you say that? I thought you liked the Eagles” “‘Cause he always getting injured and shit.” “I thought you was gonna say that it was because he let them put...
View ArticleHonesty is the Best Policy in Apparel
“Does your face hurt? ‘Cause it’s killing me!” -man’s shirt at 34th st, penn station. “Friend on benefits.” - old mans shirt at Port Authority, 42nd St.
View ArticleWhat’s the Next Great Invention?
“I betcha that the guy who invented the snuggi was the same guy who invented the pet rock.” - shirtless, pot-bellied man on the downtown 2 train
View ArticleTastes Like… Duck
“Hey, have you ever eaten duck?” “What, you mean like the animal?” “Yeah” “Oh yeah, once I think at some weird French restaurant or something.” “Did you like it?” “I don’t really remember, why?” “Well,...
View ArticleSweet as a Nut
“Something smells sweet and nice, you know, like that guys nuts on the corner?” “That’s what she said.” - two women waiting for the L train
View ArticleBeen There, Got the T-Shirt
More ferocious message tees: “Mitt Romney is making my pussy dry up.” - on a young woman, NJ Transit, Elizabeth, NJ “Lah dee freakin dah…” - bald, middle-aged man, 1, 2, 3 @ 14th St. “Hey man, your...
View ArticleHey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like your…
“I just don’t get it, honey. If you’re gonna blast the music on your iPod, why choose Avril Lavigne?” - man to his wife on NJ Transit
View ArticleHave You Heard About The Black Coffee Diet?
“Everybody thinks they be able to lose weight just by eating broccoli and a ton of small meals. That ad up there say that ain’t true and that broccoli carbs be bad for you, and that small meals pack on...
View ArticleStraight Trippin’
“Hey, are you okay, young man? Those steps are totally stupid – the way they’re laid out, aren’t they? You think you’re on the last one and then there’s another. It’s so stupid!” “Thanks for your...
View ArticleThe French Paradox
“No, man, honestly, the casino in Monte Carlo was great. I walked in wearing a golf shirt and they were so happy to see me. I didn’t need to wear a suit at all.” “Did you win any money?” “No, I played...
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