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With Fans Like This, Who Needs Enemies?

“Yo, Michael Vick is one pussy ass n—a!” “Why you say that? I thought you liked the Eagles” “‘Cause he always getting injured and shit.” “I thought you was gonna say that it was because he let them put...

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Honesty is the Best Policy in Apparel

“Does your face hurt? ‘Cause it’s killing me!” -man’s shirt at 34th st, penn station. “Friend on benefits.” - old mans shirt at Port Authority, 42nd St.

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What’s the Next Great Invention?

“I betcha that the guy who invented the snuggi was the same guy who invented the pet rock.” - shirtless, pot-bellied man on the downtown 2 train

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Tastes Like… Duck

“Hey, have you ever eaten duck?” “What, you mean like the animal?” “Yeah” “Oh yeah, once I think at some weird French restaurant or something.” “Did you like it?” “I don’t really remember, why?” “Well,...

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Sweet as a Nut

“Something smells sweet and nice, you know, like that guys nuts on the corner?” “That’s what she said.” - two women waiting for the L train

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Been There, Got the T-Shirt

More ferocious message tees: “Mitt Romney is making my pussy dry up.” - on a young woman, NJ Transit, Elizabeth, NJ “Lah dee freakin dah…” - bald, middle-aged man, 1, 2, 3 @ 14th St. “Hey man, your...

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Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like your…

“I just don’t get it, honey. If you’re gonna blast the music on your iPod, why choose Avril Lavigne?” - man to his wife on NJ Transit

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Have You Heard About The Black Coffee Diet?

“Everybody thinks they be able to lose weight just by eating broccoli and a ton of small meals. That ad up there say that ain’t true and that broccoli carbs be bad for you, and that small meals pack on...

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Straight Trippin’

“Hey, are you okay, young man? Those steps are totally stupid – the way they’re laid out, aren’t they? You think you’re on the last one and then there’s another. It’s so stupid!” “Thanks for your...

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The French Paradox

“No, man, honestly, the casino in Monte Carlo was great. I walked in wearing a golf shirt and they were so happy to see me. I didn’t need to wear a suit at all.” “Did you win any money?” “No, I played...

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